Category Archives: Coffee Liqueur

Monster Mash! Halloween Drinks (Part Two)

And now I’m back! From outerspace!

It is officially Halloween weekend, which means it is officially not okay to be sober for the next 72 hours (my how things have changed since I dressed up as the red Power Ranger). So, let the ghosts and ghouls run rampant with booze, and try one of these fun Halloween-themed cocktails.

 

Bloody Sundae
-1 ½ oz Vanilla Vodka
-1 ½ oz Whipped Cream Vodka
-Strawberry Syrup
-Plastic Vampire Teeth (optional)

The Bloody Sundae

Here’s one of those candy drinks, which, I keep telling myself is appropriate because Halloween is all about candy. Yeah, some of you might scoff at whipped cream flavored vodka. But, as silly as it sounds, it’s delicious, and you’ll be missing out if you write it off. Certainly, it isn’t classy, but it sure is good, and you can find some great ideas for it.

Case and point: this silly little novelty drink. This isn’t something you’d ever want to drink on a fancy cocktail night, but it definitely is something you’d think about drinking anyway. It’s sweet, but not too sweet. It’s alcohol-y, but not too alcohol-y. It’s just good. It’s no Martini, it’s no Manhattan, but it is a nice piece of alcoholic candy, which is the best you can hope for if you go out trick-r-treating.

So, first, you’ll want to put a little bit of the strawberry syrup into a cocktail glass and thoroughly coat the glass with it by turning the glass around so that the syrup coats the inside. Discard any excess syrup (or don’t if you want it extra sweet). Then, shake the two flavored vodkas together with ice, and strain it into the glass. If you have plastic vampire teeth, they make awesome party garnishes. Otherwise, just drink up, matey. It tastes like candy and gets you wasted. Best Halloween gift ever.

 

Black Widow
-2 oz Kraken Black Spiced Rum
-1 oz Coffee Liqueur
-1 oz Anisette
-Black Licorice

The Black Widow

Black Widow just so happens to be another one of those cocktails names (like “Jack-O-Lantern”) that gets used a lot, but without any standard cocktail. And, to be honest, I based this recipe on another “Black Widow” recipe that used vanilla vodka, black sambuca, and espresso (no licorice garnish). However, only clear sambuca appears to be available in North Carolina, so I was forced to change it up. I used generic anisette instead of sambuca (but use the kind of anisette you want), and swapped out the espresso with Kahlua (not too much of a flavor change, I hope). To keep it all good and dark, I decided to replace the vodka with a dark rum (let’s face it — the Kahlua couldn’t have kept is black on its own).

Okay, so, yes — the flavor takes a backseat to color and presentation here. But it actually doesn’t taste bad at all. The anisette dominates at first, but after a while the coffee liqueur begins to make itself noticed. The rum actually takes a background role, which is surprising because I chose the strongest and richest rum I have in stock. But, coffee and anisette are too very strong flavors, so it is understandable why vodka may have been used in the recipe I based this off of. Since vodka is neutral, it allows the two other flavors to duke it out on their own turf, with the base liquor taking a background role.

That being said, the Kraken is noticeable, it’s just not a power player in this mix. So, we focus on the coffee and anise flavors, which surprisingly work quite well together — a lot like Aerosmith and Run DMC. And that’s really the joy of mixology (still hate that word): you discover incredible combinations that otherwise you would have never tried.

Also, this looks awesome as all Hell thanks to the garnish. Given, the garnish is completely unnecessary, but that doesn’t stop it from being fucking sweet — which is the basic rule of thumb that bartenders have been using for garnishing Bloody Marys (coming next week), so why not try that rule with another drink?

Though, I still must admit, I broke my own rule, and didn’t eat all of the edible garnish. Licorice isn’t my favorite candy to begin with, but the sheer amount that you need to properly garnish this cocktail is overwhelming for those who don’t like licorice. I managed to eat two strands (while drinking) before giving up. So, the garnish is definitely worth the aesthetic value, but unlike the olives in the Martini, you probably won’t finish eating this garnish unless you like licorice a lot

One sidenote, though: It’s a lot easier to enjoy anisette than it is to enjoy licorice, so don’t let drink recipes that include anisette deter you. Including this one.

So, shake the liquid ingredients with ice and strain it into a cocktail glass. Now comes the fun part: the garnish. You’ll need eight strands of black licorice to properly garnish this cocktail. Once you have eight strands, bend them, and arrange them four on each side, so that it looks like a spider is submerged in your drink. Bonus points if you can drink the whole cocktail without removing the licorice. I managed to drink about two-thirds of this drink before the licorice started falling out of the glass.

 

Pumpkin Pie Cocktail
-1 ½ oz Spiced Rum
-1 ½ oz Fulton’s Harvest Pumpkin Pie Cream Liqueur
-1-2 dashes Vanilla Extract
-Graham Cracker Crumbs

The Pumpkin Pie Cocktail

Alright, so this cocktail isn’t so much a Halloween cocktail as it is a Fall cocktail, but I have no plans to do a Thanksgiving post, so this is the only exposure this drink will get. And, even though it’s a novelty and extremely non-alcoholic at 25 proof, Fulton’s Harvest Pumpkin Pie Cream Liqueur is absolutely delicious. It’s like if eggnog and a pumpkin fucked, and had an awesome-yet-unholy baby. And not just any sex session, at that; they had dirty and deep anal sex with amazing spices for a condom (Sober edit: And apparently still managed to conceive. Good basic reproductive knowledge there, drunk Dave). So, yeah, scoff at it as a seasonal fad, but it tastes so good, and you will love it.

And even though the alcohol content of the liqueur in this is ridiculously low, this cocktail tastes fairly strong. I used Captain Morgan, which is awesome, but below proof for liquor at 70 proof (80 proof is the standard for all liquors, if you didn’t know), and yet this still tasted very alcoholic. And yet, even though it tastes liquory, it goes down really easy. It’s really a great cocktail to serve to your family during the holidays if your intention is to get drunk with your family, and maybe find out a few things you didn’t know. Two of these will get most aunts a little tipsy, I’m sure.

So, as always, shake the liquid ingredients with ice and strain it into a cocktail glass. Garnish by sprinkling the graham cracker crumbs on top. Alternatively, you can rim the cocktail glass with the crumbs before shaking the cocktail. This method will keep the crumbs crispier, but it’s also a bit more effort. Of course, the crumbs will get soggy if you sprinkle them on top, which might turn some people off. I thought it worked very well with soggy graham cracker crumbs, but that’s not everybody’s thing.

Onwards to the last drink!

 

Bleeding Heart Martini
-2 oz HIGH QUALITY Gin
-1/2 oz Dry Vermouth
-Pickled Beet
-1 splash Pickled Beet Brine (optional, if you like it dirty)

The Bleeding Heart Martini

So, I saved this one for last because I love, love, LOVE Martinis. At the end of the day, the Martini is probably my favorite cocktail. In fact, I can’t wait until the new James Bond movie comes out, not because I’m excited about Skyfall, but because I’m going to use it as an excuse to do a Martini post. And I am very excited about the Martini post.

However, the Martini just so happens to be the perfect cocktail to demonstrate how the garnish for your drink FUCKING MATTERS. A Martini with an olive tastes much different than a Martini with a lemon twist. And both of those taste WAY FUCKING DIFFERENT than a Martini with a pickled beet. So, homeboy, let me tell you— Martinis are amazing, but pickled beets ain’t no olives.

I’m probably going to repeat this when I do my Martini post, but I prefer my Martinis with two (not one, but two) olives, pimento stuffed if available (and pimento stuffed is always available at my house). I prefer a lemon twist if I’m making a vodka Martini (a lot of cocktail enthusiasts shun the vodka Martini, but it is absolutely amazing if done right), but I usually use gin. (Also, this is as good a place as any to mention why I used caps locks on the HIGH QUALITY when mentioning the gin in the ingredient list. Use middle or high-low shelf gin for every other cocktail recipe. But, for a Martini, use a good gin. You owe it to yourself, and the Martini deserves no less.)

Also, if you happen to know how you like your Martini, feel free to make it that way — dry, wet, or dirty. Stirred or shaken. However, if you’re not that acquainted with Martinis, the 4:1 ratio of gin to vermouth works very well, so go ahead and use this recipe. If you don’t like gin that much, maybe go to 3:1 or 2:1.

But, going back to my original point, a pickled beet ain’t no olive. If you prefer a lemon twist in your Martini, then this is even more different. But, if you’re like me, and you love biting into that delicious olive after drinking a Martini, then the pickled beet is semi-acceptable. That being said, it still ain’t no olive. The beet brine is similar to the olive brine at first, but it loses its charm pretty fast, and it’s ultimately no where near as satisfying as an olive at the end of the drink. In fact, it’s kind of bland. So, final verdict is not bad, but no where near as good.

Sorry for all that text, but I really like Martinis.

To make this drink, stir the liquid ingredients with ice, and strain into a cocktail glass. Of course you can shake it if you prefer, but I’m recommending the traditional stirring method. Finally, garnish with a pickled beet, preferably pierced by a cocktail spear.

And thus we reach the end of our adventure.

 

Denouement

So, what have we learned? I think we’ve learned that a lot of things are scary, but we can’t let that hold us back. We need to stand strong, and drink, even in the face of adversity.

Happy Halloween, everyone. Don’t party too hard.


From Russia with Booze: The White Russian

Hey dudes and dudettes, and welcome to another exciting adventure with Six Drinks Too Many, even if it is a week late. I’m back and already a little buzzed, thanks to the potent little cocktail of the week, the delciously Marxist White Russian.

Actually, it didn’t really originate in Russia, and it’s probably not a hardcore enough drink for Russians, anyway. I mean, this drink does involve mixing anything at all with vodka, which means it’s probably illegal in Russia.

In any case, it definitely isn’t hardcore. The White Russian is an excellent drink for someone who wants to drink something potent, but can’t quite muster up the guts to drink something too liquory like a Martini or a Manhattan. Plus, it’s a nice cult drink thanks to The Big Lebowski.

A few notes before I get into giving you some recipes, though. First, you can mix a White Russian by stirring or by shaking. You could also even leave it unmixed with the cream sitting on top of the vodka and coffee liqueur. It’s your own personal preference. I prefer to build mine in the glass and stir. Do it whatever way you want, because this is America, and not Russia (unless you happen to be reading this in Russia … or any country other than America for that matter).

Second, all of these recipes, and most recipes for White Russians you’ll ever see, will have it served on the rocks. However, you can also serve White Russians up in a cocktail glass. To do this, shake the ingredients with ice and strain it into your cocktail glass.

Third, heavy cream is the recommended dairy product, but you can also use light cream, half and half, or milk. However, you really should use heavy cream (and only use milk in a pinch).

Fourth, in most of these recipes, I’ll be telling you to fill your glass with cream after you’ve poured in your alcohol. You can also measure out the cream in equal portion to the alcoholic ingredients — 2 ounces in most cases. If you’re going to shake your ingredients instead of stirring them, this is what you should be doing.

Okay, enough of that. Let’s start drinking!

 

White Russian
-1 oz Vodka
-1 oz Coffee Liqueur
-Cream

The White Russian

So here is the delicious classic — sweet and creamy in all of its alcoholic glory. The Dude loved it, and for good reason — it’s awesome. If you’re ever at a bar and can’t think of anything else to order, the White Russian is fantastic go-to choice. And, even though it is very sweet and easy to drink, it doesn’t have the same stigma that other sweet drinks do, possibly because its not fruity or chocolatey. In any case, not many people will judge you for ordering this one. If they do judge you, they might be actual Russians, in which case we won the Cold War, so bollocks to them.

Creamy goodness.

Anyway, fill your glass with ice, pour in your vodka, your coffee liqueur, and fill with your cream (as disgusting as that sounds). Stir it (if that’s what you’re into, no judging), and enjoy. And enjoy it you will, because, as noted above, this drink is basically designed to be enjoyed. It was designed to be so enjoyed, that it’s really easy to enjoy three of them.

Next drink!

 

Blind Russian
-1 oz Vodka
-1 oz Coffee Liqueur
-2 oz Irish Cream

The Blind Russian

Mmm. Liquory cereal. That’s what this cocktail tastes like. Imagine if the milk you poured on your Cocoa Puffs was alcoholic. Also, imagine you’ve had Cocoa Puffs in the last ten years. That’s kind of what this drink tastes like, anyway, only maybe less appropriate for Saturday morning cartoons (but even so, I think I just found a way to make Spongebob A LOT better).

So, this drink is basically an excuse to make a White Russian that will fuck you up more. Usually, I’m against that sort of tomfoolery; if getting drunk faster is more important to you than making a good drink, then you might as well just do shots instead of fucking up a cocktail. However, this drink is delicious, so it might just be the exception to the rule. Give it a try, but do be warned: it tastes too good for how strong it is, and it goes down easier than Justin Bieber getting hit by Thor’s hammer. (You thought I was going to make some oral sex joke there, didn’t you? Please, I’m classier than that. Classier than Justin Bieber’s prostitutes, anyway.) As with any time you’re drinking, know you’re limits, and don’t let the taste of this cocktail trick you into drinking too many, or you will have a bad night.

So, fill a glass with ice, pour in your ingredients, and stir. Also, I didn’t drink it this way, but this also might be an excellent variation to serve up rather than on the rocks. Live adventurously and let me know how it turned out.

Onwards!

 

Colorado Bulldog
-1 oz Vodka
-1 oz Coffee Liqueur
-2 oz Cream
-Cola

The Colorado Bulldog

So, before trying this drink, I’ll admit — I had already filed it under the “Oh dear merciful Zeus of glorious Olympus, why would anyone do that” category. However, that was me jumping the gun a little bit. Putting dairy and cola together sounds weird at first, but that’s also basically what you’re doing anytime you make an ice cream float. And, naturally, this tastes much like a float. So, bullet dodged, and I owe Zeus an apology for taking His name in vain.

Shake it like you shouldn’t shake a Polaroid picture.

The drink is a little weird, but it’s definitely not bad. It’s a little more interesting than a regular White Russian, though not necessarily better. I think I’ll side with The Dude on this one, and keep the soda out of my Caucasians for now. However, like most things that don’t involve a redneck and some source of fire, it’s worth trying.

So, shake your vodka, coffee liqueur, and cream in a shaker with ice, and strain it into an ice-filled glass (use a slightly taller glass than what you’re probably using for White Russians). Fill with the cola, and drink. Do not stir.

You can also pour your first three ingredients in a glass and stir, but I I decided to shake this one. Made it a little more frothier. Much like Justin Bieber’s prostitute. And I smell a recurring theme tonight…

 

Chocolate Strawberry (or Justin Bieber’s Prostitute)
-1 oz Strawberry Flavored Vodka
-1 oz Dark Crème de Cacao
-Cream

The Justin Bieber’s Prostitute

This drink is my own little mix, though I’m sure I’m not the first person to put these ingredients together. By the way, I’m open to suggestions for a better name for this drink than the awful one I have right now (though my alternative name is growing on me … much in the same way that Justin Bieber grows on his extremely high class and reasonably frothy prostitute). Give me some suggestions, and if I like it, maybe I’ll high five you or send you some McNuggets or something. Who knows?

Anyway, this is a good dessert drink, and it mimics the taste of an actual chocolate-covered strawberry about as well as artificial flavors can — which is pretty well. The cream also balances the alcoholic bite, so you can actually focus on the intended flavor, rather than coughing because flavored vodka is kind of weird.

Anyway, build it like you would a White Russian. Also, feel free to use white crème de cacao — I chose dark to keep the color the same as a regular White Russian, but the flavor should be the same between white and dark. However, if you do use white, keep in mind that that’s one more way you’re supporting white privilege, and another job you’re taking a way from the darker-toned minority. Asshole.

 

White Mexican
-1 oz Tequila (preferably silver)
-1 oz Coffee Liqueur
-Cream

The White Mexican

Admit it — most of you only use tequila for shots and margaritas. That’s really sad, isn’t it? The thing is, tequila has an uncanny way of working with flavors that it really shouldn’t work with. It’s kind of like the barbecue sauce of the liquor world in that way, though you definitely shouldn’t pour tequila over a bad burger in hopes that it will make it taste better. Actually, go ahead and do that, and you’ll probably get what you deserve.

It’s not easy being creamy.

So, this cocktail sounds a little gross, but it’s actually pretty good. It’s definitely more complex than a White Russian, and the full flavor effect is something that a liquor connoisseur might appreciate. The tequila is a lot more noticeable than the vodka — try to imagine what creamy tequila might taste and feel like, and you’ve got this drink. Sounds disgusting, I know. In fact, it sounds like something someone might make at a party that’s run out of both vodka and limes. Luckily, this drink is a lot better than the godawful concoction that whatever some misguided college party-goer might make in such a scenario. If you like tequila, you’ll like this. Try it — your tequila deserves better than being paired with some citrus juice every time you drink it. Let it see the world and be its own person.

Make it like you would a White Russian, but with tequila instead of vodka.

 

White Indian
-1 oz Gin
-1 oz Coffee Liqueur
-Cream

The White Indian

Is it just me, or is our way of naming cocktails to show which liquor is in them a little racist? Not offensively so or anything, like, fun racist. Weird racist. The type of racist you get when Justin Bieber shouts racial slurs at his prostitute mid-coitus. Of course, “White Indian” sounds a lot better than “White Juniper-Flavored Spirit Cocktail,” so I guess I’ll let it go, just like Justin Bieber’s prostitute lets the abuse go.

So, this drink is… a drink. To be honest, I’m not sure if there’s much of a point. I like gin, but I don’t know if I like this drink. It doesn’t really taste all that different from a White Russian, except it gives you a weird gin aftertaste. If I were to list all the reasons I like gin, “weird aftertaste” probably wouldn’t be on list. It would be at least seventh or eight down, anyway.

Milk just doesn’t do this. Justin Bieber’s prostitute does, though. For a price.

If you don’t have vodka, I guess you could make this instead, and you’d wind up with more or less the same drink, but other than that it’s not really worth it. The tequila at least had a point — this is just someone putting gin in their White Russian and claiming they’ve made a new drink. In a fashion similar to the way Apple does marketing, it’s a completely unnecessary upgrade that’s basically the same as thing you left behind, but with some features you really didn’t want anyway. But, maybe it’s map app actually works, so who am I to judge?

Make it like you would a White Russian but with gin. However, I’m telling you, you really should just make a White Russian.

 

Denouement

Here we are, at the end of another night of drinking and exploration. What have we learned? I’ve learned that Justin Bieber is an incredibly freaky man who is aroused by racism. I’ve also learned that racism stops being a problem if we can all just get together and enjoy a round, man.

So put some dairy in your vodka and ask yourself what The Dude would do. And if you haven’t been understanding my “Dude” references, go watch The Big Lebowski. Now.

Happy (responsible) drinking!


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