Category Archives: Salt

Beer Good!

Another week, another hangover. I come to you this time kind of continuing my “back-to-school” theme with drinks based around that college party standard (and standard of pretty much any other party, really), beer!

Who doesn’t like beer? Well, lots of people, actually, but they’re all objectively wrong. Beer is great! And you probably just drink your beer without doing anything fancy to it. But why not experiment every now and then. In the spirit of exploration, here are seven beer-based mixed drinks to try the next time you’re bored with your Bud.

Beer Buster
-1 1/2 oz Vodka
-2 dashes Tabasco Sauce
-Chilled Beer

Beer Buster

I figured I’d start with the strongest drink first tonight, instead of ending with the strongest drink like last time. It’s probably a lot better for my pacing. Vodka in beer is a pretty good way to get a buzz going fast — and after last week’s disappointing Jäger-fest, who couldn’t use a good buzz?

I’m really not a fan of adding hot sauce to stuff, especially drinks. Sometimes I feel like the only person I’ve met who doesn’t think that hot sauce is a magical elixir that makes anything better. There’s a time and place for everything, but it’s certainly not on my burger.

This drink, however, isn’t all that bad. It ups the alcohol content of your beer with vodka, and the added spice actually works well. It’s not incredible, but it’s an interesting flavor, and it’s worth trying if you like spicy things — just don’t ruin an expensive beer with this. If you don’t like spicy things, you could just drink beer with vodka in it, but then people might call you an alcoholic.

In any case, this would probably be a hit at a lot of college parties. Combine the ingredients in a beer glass of your choosing and enjoy.

Black and Tan
-Lager or Pale Ale
-Stout

Black and Tan

This is one of the more well-known drinks on the list tonight. It’s often served layered, but as you can see in the picture above, it’s not necessary to layer it. Layering that much beer in a glass that big isn’t easy without the appropriate equipment (plus the bubbles make it hard to layer any carbonated beverage), so I opted to just let the two beers mingle. I honestly think it’s better that way. If you wanted to taste two beers individually, you can order two beers individually. Allowing the beers to mix together creates something much more interesting than a layered drink, pretty though a layered drink may be.

I really like this drink, because I’m not all that into stout. I appreciate it and enjoy it, but I can only do so much bitter. If you use a lager, then it cuts the bitterness of the stout quite well. I’m sure with a pale ale it would be a much different experience, but I’ll try that another day. For now, this is a beer concoction that would make a Mormon reconsider things.

Combine the two beers in a beer glass of your choice. Layer them if you can, but don’t worry too much if you can’t.

Boiler Maker
-1 shot Whiskey
-1 glass Lager or Pale Ale

Boiler Maker

There are three ways you can do this drink. First, you can do it as a shooter-chaser combo, where you down the whiskey and then chug the beer. Second, you can do it as a bomb shot where you drop the full shot glass into the beer and chug the mixture. Third, you can pour the whiskey into your beer without any drama and either chug it or drink it (though it’s expected that you chug it).

I chose the first option. Kind of a weird choice for me, because I’m not that good at chugging things, and sometimes shots of straight liquor can hit me wrong if I over-think it and briefly upset my stomach (which happened this time). So the actual experience of drinking this drink was not all that pleasant, but it ought to be judged on its own merits. As a shooter-chaser combo, it’s a good way to get a buzz. As far as flavor goes, the combination works well. It depends on the whiskey you use, but the whiskey flavor adds a nice, more refined layer to the beer. It’s a bit sweet if you use something like bourbon.

Anyway, I already explained how to make any version of this drink earlier, so I don’t think I need to explain it again. Make it, enjoy it, but be aware that doing more than two of these might just mean you’re an alcoholic or severely depressed (or both). Or maybe you’re just a college student at a party making bad decisions.

Shandy
-Lemonade (or Lemon-Lime Soda, I guess)
-Lager or Pale Ale

Shandy

I have some differing opinions on this to report. I thought this was really good, because I’ve had pre-made Shandies out of bottles, and those aren’t very good. This made me understand why someone would choose to drink a Shandy in the first place. My wife, however, thought this tasted like blood. A good part of that might be that I used beer from a can. So, take that for what you will. This might be good. It might taste like blood. If you’re a vampire, that might be great news for you! However, if you don’t happen to be a mythical creature of the night who for some reason frequents my blog, maybe try this with bottled beer to help cut the metallic taste.

So, vampires and college students, given my experiences with bottled versions of Shandies, I wasn’t expecting something good here. I was pleasantly surprised with how the lemonade blended with the beer, bringing sweet, sour, and bitter together quite effectively. I’m sure it would be even better if I hadn’t used store-bought lemonade. Yes, I was too lazy to combine water, sugar, and lemon juice. Shut up.

Combine the two ingredients in equal parts in a beer glass of your choice. Drink, and enjoy if you can. If you can’t, try to find someone who avoids sunlight and garlic to offer it to, I guess.

Shandygaff
-Ginger Beer
-Lager or Pale Ale

Shandygaff

This is like a Shandy that’s a bit spicier. I’m not sure which drink came first, but in reading the Shandygaff, I learned that it is believed to have come from British slang for a pint of beer. The original phrase was “shant of gatter.” Shant meant “pub” and gatter meant “water.” Thus, we have “pub water” in a Shandygaff. See? You get to learn something, too.

This isn’t that intense or potent, but it’s still a very good drink. Ginger beer can be a really weird drink on its own, but it works here. The beer makes the ginger beer more palatable, and the ginger beer adds complexity and spice to the beer. It’s a very good mutual relationship.

Make it the same way you make a Shandy.

Depth Charge
-1 1/2 oz Peppermint Schnapps
-Lager or Ale

Deoth Charge

With the relatively large amount of peppermint schnapps in this drink, I wasn’t expecting something good. I clearly underestimated the power of the beer. The beer flavor is strong enough to counter the large amount of peppermint schnapps. Ergo, this drink is essentially just a beer with a bit of a minty kick — perhaps something to make your breath a bit better.

This is a nice and light drink with a little bit of mint. I don’t think I can’t say anything else about it. So, yeah. Mint and beer. It’s cool. I’m not sure why someone thought, “You know what my beer really needs? Mint!” But still. It’s cool.

Make it exactly how you expect to make it.

Michelada
-Lime Wedge
-Kosher Salt
-Mexican Lager

Michelada

This is apparently a Mexican classic, and it loosely translates to “my cold beer.” There are several variations of it, and I’ve given you the simplest version of it. You might see tequila and Tabasco in other versions, but all versions are based off of some combination of (Mexican) beer, lime juice, and salt, served over ice.

Well, feel free to look up other versions and add lots of ingredients, but whatever version you pick, this might be the one way to make Corona enjoyable. I’d definitely suggest a better beer than I did, but if you can’t find one, Corona will work, and it’s actually drinkable here.

In any case, this is a simple change to beer, but it’s quite pleasant. If I were an upper-class type, I would totally order this while lounging by the pool. Make this at your next college kegger to bring in some class.

Start by rimming a pilsner glass with the lime wedge and salt (I suppose pilsner glasses are kind of specialized, so use another glass if you must). Then squeeze the lime wedge into the glass and drop it in. Add ice and fill with beer. Have fun, you classy motherfucker.

Denouement
Beer. Probably the best thing humanity has to offer. Go have some.


There’s a Frat Boy in All of Us: Jägermeister Drinks

Hello, fine people. It’s that time of year again. Students are saying goodbye to sleeping in every day and saying hello to staying up all night. College is starting back up, and I thought it would be appropriate to use this as an opportunity to highlight that godawful staple of college parties we call Jägermeister. That’s right — we’re getting super douchey this week.

Speaking of douchey, I never realized how condescending Jägermeister is. Before you you even open it, there are arrows on the cap to show you which way to turn it to open. Apparently Jägermeister assumes that most of its target market don’t understand the concept of righty-tighty/lefty-loosey. I’m not a fan of Jäger, but I’m sure that most people who are fans of it are smart enough to figure that out. I believe in you, Jäger-lovers.

On that note of camaraderie, let’s get right into it with a drink that I suppose I can’t avoid doing.

 

Jägerbomb
-1 shot Jägermeister
-Red Bull or Beer

 Jägerbomb

So, I just finished my first Jägerbomb ever, and I now officially hate myself. It’s like chugging carbonated child’s cough syrup. By the way, did I mention that you generally chug bomb-shot drinks? Because you do. Which is fine enough when you have a beer base, but as it turns out energy drinks aren’t meant to be chugged. I’m going to be a bit jittery for a few minutes.

In any case, if you happen to have taste buds, you don’t have to use Red Bull. Jägerbombs were originally made with beer. But then Red Bull got popular, and then alcoholic drinks with Red Bull got popular with idiots, and then Red Bull replaced beer in the already-unholy Jägerbomb.

Okay, maybe I’m a bit too harsh. Drinking energy drinks with alcohol isn’t a hugely terrible idea. Drinking a lot of energy drinks with alcohol definitely is, though. If you must do a Jägerbomb with Red Bull, you should probably only do one, and you should probably do that at the beginning of your drinking session, before you’ve consumed too much alcohol.

That being said, feel free to use beer instead of Red Bull. This might get you some odd looks though; the frat boy who works with my wife said, “Who makes Jägerbombs with beer? What is this bougie bullshit?” Bougie here, as far as we can tell, means bourgeoisie. But, I think it actually makes more sense to use a beer base — a beer with a shot of the hard stuff in it is a much better way to get a quick buzz than an energy drink with alcohol. In fact, that latter has the opposite effect, with the caffeine masking some of the symptoms of intoxication. I guess if you don’t want to feel like you’re getting too drunk, then the energy drink is the way you want to go. But I’m also pretty sure that most people doing Jägerbombs want to feel drunk, so I really don’t get the point of using Red Bull.

But, I have bowed to fashion, and fashion dictates I use Red Bull. Woe unto me.

Pour the Red Bull or beer into a pint glass and the Jägermeister into a shot glass. Drop the shot glass into the pint glass and chug it down. Hate yourself almost immediately afterward.

 

Jäger Barrel
-2 oz Jägermeister
-Root Beer

 Jäger Barrel

So, I checked the Jägermeister website for recipes, and without any surprise whatsoever, most of the recipes they feature are Jägermeister plus carbonated beverage. Clearly Jäger just inspires creativity.

In any case, I picked one of their carbonated beverage concoctions, and drank the result. I’m not sure why I picked this one, because I’m not a huge fan of root beer. I guess it sounded more interesting than the others (and the idea of Jäger and orange soda just makes me cringe). However, given my disdain for both of the ingredients, this drink isn’t terrible. If you like root beer, I could legitimately see why you might enjoy this.

That being said, I’m never going to make this for myself again. And even if you like the ingredients this really has nothing on the Rum and Coke.

Pour the Jägermeister into an ice-filled rocks glass or highball glass. Fill with root beer.

 

Bed of Roses
-2 oz Jägermeister
-1/2 oz Grenadine
-1/2 oz Lemon Juice

Bed of Roses

This is another recipe I found on the Jägermeister website, and it has an incredibly stupid name. It’s also put together rather stupidly. The person who made this recipe clearly knew something about putting together drinks, because it follows the standard base-plus-sour-plus-sweet formula. However, they obviously didn’t know enough about putting together drinks, because it has way too much grenadine and way too much Jäger. All the ingredients are fighting each other rather than working together to make a good drink. The lemon juice makes it taste a little bit like iced tea, but that’ the only highlight.

A better version of this might cut the grenadine in half, the Jäger down to maybe three quarters of an ounce, and add perhaps an ounce and a half of whiskey (preferably North American). I’d also recommend using homemade grenadine (just make a syrup with pomegranate juice), but I understand that most people are too lazy… err… busy to do that. However, this hypothetically better version of the drink is not the version I drank. Don’t make this drink. Just get some tea-infused vodka, and you’ll have basically the same experience, but much better.

In case you want to blatantly ignore those last two sentences, shake the ingredients with ice and strain it into a cocktail glass. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

 

Black Sunset
-1 1/2 oz Jägermeister
-1 oz Spiced Dark Rum
-2 oz Pineapple Juice
-Lime Wheel

Black Sunset

Oh my God, real liquor. Real liquor, I missed you so much. Never leave me again.

This is another drink from the Jägermeister website, and I guess it proves that they can put together a moderately successful cocktail if someone presses them enough. This also made me realize why most of the cocktails on their website seem odd to me: They use too much Jäger. I suppose it makes sense that the company would try to get you to drink more of their product, but in terms of mixology, it doesn’t make sense.

You see, Jägermeister is a liqueur. Generally, liqueurs are either enjoyed by themselves or as a complimentary flavor in a cocktail. Of course, several cocktails are made to showcase the liqueur, but more often than not they’re used to highlight the liquor. So it’s really weird that this cocktail calls for more Jäger than rum. If you decide to make this, I suggest switching the amounts of Jäger and rum.

Either way, though, this drink isn’t half bad. It’s very tropical, and the Jäger manages to not be over-powering for once. It would, however, be better with more rum flavor (hence my suggestion), but it’s going in the right direction. It’s not a bad if you just want a simple cooler to nurse for a bit.

Shake the liquid ingredients with ice and strain it over fresh ice in a collins glass. Garnish with the lime wheel.

 

Jäger-Rita
-2 oz Tequila
-1 oz Jägermeister
-1 oz Lime Juice
-Lime Wedge
-Salt

 Jäger-Rita

Yes, I know how silly the name is, but it’s also pretty standard for something like this. A recipe for a Margarita made with Jäger is on the Jäger website, but this isn’t it. They recommend making it by replacing the tequila with Jäger. But a that makes no sense — a Margarita without tequila is not a Margarita. It also makes more sense to replace the liqueur in a Margarita with another liqueur. So that’s what I did.

In any case, if you like Jägermeister, you might like this. I, however, can’t drink this without grimacing. This is pretty much the best way to ruin a Margarita. I find that tequila has a tendency to work with flavors that it has no business working with, like chocolate or coffee. Jägermeister, as it turns out, is not one of those flavors. Anise might work, but you’d need to use a much higher quality spirit, like absinthe or a good absinthe substitute.

Start by using the lime wedge to rim a cocktail glass with salt. Set the lime wedge aside. Shake the liquid ingredients with ice and strain it into the glass. Garnish with the lime wedge, and wonder why you’re doing this to yourself.

 

Jäger Manhattan
-2 oz Bourbon (or Rye Whiskey or Canadian Whisky)
-3/4 oz Sweet Vermouth
-1/2 oz Jägermeister
-Maraschino Cherry

 Jäger-Rita

If you drink Manhattans, this might already sound like an abomination. This cocktail was suggested to me by a Reddit user on the wonderful r/drunk sub, and the idea is a Manhattan with Jägermeister replacing the bitters. If we are to consider Jägermeister as a legitimate alcoholic beverage, instead of as the stuff that fuels bad college parties (the idea that, in fact, inspired this blog post), then this drink seems less abomination and more experimentation.

This cocktail isn’t bad, really. But in all honesty, I came away from it wondering what the point was. The Jäger gets overpowered by the whiskey, and I fear that increasing the amount of Jäger would ruin the drink. I suppose I could have tried garnishing it with star anise or using slightly less vermouth to bring out the Jäger more, but I still think a regular Manhattan would be better. The bitters add a nice spice and kick to the drink, and an intensity that just isn’t there with the Jäger version.

If you want to make this drink, either garnish with star anise, reduce the sweet vermouth to half an ounce, or (and this is probably what I should have done) use Canadian whisky instead of bourbon or rye. Canadian whisky doesn’t have as strong of a flavor as its contemporaries, and it would probably give the Jäger more room to do its thing without giving up too much ground. So maybe go Canadian Club instead of Wild Turkey. Just a thought.

To make it, stir the liquid ingredients with ice and strain it into a cocktail glass. Garnish with the cherry (or star anise if you’re going that route).

 

Denouement
So, what have we learned? I learned that Jäger apparently helps my digestive system along.. Unfortunately, I also learned that Jäger doesn’t get me all that drunk. I didn’t start feeling the alcohol all that much until the last drink, and I think that has more to do with the whiskey than with anything else. Thanks bourbon!

Maybe next week I’ll drink something enjoyable…

POSTSCRIPT: I wound up remaking the Manhattan with Canadian whisky and star anise. It turned out much better, but a real Manhattan is still much better.


The Wages of Gin is Intoxication: The Gin and Tonic

Oh, it’s been too long, hasn’t it? Hello, valued and indispensable readers, and welcome back to Six Drinks Too Many, for the first time in many long, grueling months. I wound up not keeping up with my little blog because of this whole planning a wedding and getting married thing. And then I was just lazy for a couple more months.

But a few weeks ago, I decided that I really wasn’t waking up hungover often enough, and should start drinking for my blog once a week again.

So here I am, and I don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon. I know I missed most of the Summer, but damn it, it’s still hot out, so I can still write about Summer drinks. And there is no more quintessential Summer drink than the Gin and Tonic. So please, read on, and find a good refresher to enjoy these last few weeks of the season.

 

Gin and Tonic
-2 oz Gin
-Tonic Water
-Lime Wedge

Gin and Tonic

I’m not sure what you expect me to say here. It’s a Gin and Tonic. If you’ve never had one before, then you’ve probably never been to a bar before. And if you’ve never been to a bar before, then you’re probably not part of my target audience. That or you can’t legally drink, in which case, get away from here. This blog isn’t for kids. Go watch some porn instead.

In any case, do I really need to go over this? It’s full of gin and tonic water. It’s good to fight off malaria, and it’s a pretty good refresher. To make it, fill a rocks glass or highball glass with ice, add two ounces of gin, top it with tonic water, and stir gently (you don’t want to ruin the carbonation). Garnish with the lime wedge.

By the way, there are some people who only use the lime as a garnish, and don’t squeeze the juice in. I try my best not to talk to these people.

Two notes before moving on: First, bars tend to use rocks glasses for their Gin and Tonics, but the classic recipe calls for a highball glass. Use what you want, but be aware that it might change the ratio of gin to tonic water. Second, speaking of ratios, the ratio between gin and tonic water varies greatly by recipe. This is my suggestion, but feel free to experiment to find a recipe that works for you.

 

Elderflower Gin and Tonic
-1 1/2 oz Gin
-1/2 oz St. Germain
-Tonic Water
-Lime Wedge

Elderflower Gin and Tonic

If the standard Gin and Tonic is just to bitter for you, then this drink is a good choice. It uses St. Germain, an elderflower flavored liqueur that tastes less like elderflower and more like the laughter of kittens and the jiggle of breasts, with just a little bit of sugar. It’s very good.

This drink has a lovely aroma and taste, and the elderflower works with the flavor of the gin quite well. However, I’m going to recommend that instead of dropping the lime wedge into the drink, you squeeze the lime juice in and discard the wedge. The bitterness of the pith is very noticeable in this sweet drink, so you’re better off with just using the tartness of the lime juice to balance the drink.

In any case, make it the same way you would a regular Gin and Tonic, but with the added ingredient. Simple enough, right?

 

Witch’s Cocktail
-2 oz Gin
-Tonic Water
-Splash Crème de Cassis
-Lime Wedge

Witch's Cocktail

I don’t know what makes this drink witchy, but that’s the name the Internet tells me to use, so that’s the name I will use. Unfortunately, this is not as magical as the name implies. It’s not bad, but it’s probably not a drink I would choose again.

The crème de cassis gives this drink a jam-like flavor. With that, this kind of just becomes another overly-sweet and utterly generic cocktail. This drink is to cocktails what the latest Nicholas Sparks movie is to cinema.

Crème de cassis is usually used in small amounts because you really only need a small amount. I might have a different opinion about this drink if the recipe only called for a dash instead of a splash, but as it is it’s far too much with the relatively small amount that was added. In fact, the gin isn’t even all that noticeable, so it might as well be vodka instead. And If I used vodka instead, this would make it even more generic. Nothing against vodka at all. It’s just that it’s become the most popular liquor in the world by being overused to make cocktails that don’t taste alcoholic. And this just tastes like jelly.

In any case, if you feel the need to make this cloying concoction, make it the same as a regular Gin and Tonic, but add a splash of crème de cassis before you stir. Though, I do recommend that you use a dash instead of a splash. Otherwise, you might as well just make yourself a Gin and Tonic and eat grape jelly straight out of the jar.

 

Pink Gin and Tonic
-2 oz Gin
-Dash Angostura Bitters
-Tonic Water
-Lime Wedge

Pink Gin and Tonic

Ah, much better. This is a great way to follow that last cocktail, which just got way too sweet. If your cookies aren’t coming out right, yo should add salt. Similarly, if your cocktails aren’t coming out right, you should add bitters. This rule applies here, and I think I’ve found a better version of the classic G&T.

This drink, by the way, is actually a combination of two drinks: Pink Gin (also known as Gin and Bitters) and the classic Gin and Tonic. It’s interesting, and it works very well.

The bitters add a small amount of very welcome flavor, making this simple cocktail a lot more interesting. As always, you should never overdo the bitters, but they really add a lot here. This drink is very complex and very tasty. Plus, it’s a good way to make yourself feel like a classy motherfucker.

Make exactly how you expect to make it.

 

Cilantro Gin and Tonic
-2 oz Gin
-Tonic Water
-4 Cilantro Sprigs
-2 Lime Wedges

Cilantro Gin and Tonic

So, we’ve gone from sweet and generic to bitter and complex to weird and weird. This drink is apparently a real thing and not just something the Internet made up, which was convenient for me because I made some salsa this weekend, and then there was a lot of cilantro left over. Then my wife made some guacamole this weekend, and then there was a lot of cilantro left over. So then I decided to make this drink. And yet there is still a shit ton of cilantro left over. I know it would make it cost even less, but they should really sell cilantro in smaller bunches.

Anyway, this drink is fucking weird. It’s like Gary Busey in a rocks glass. They say that cilantro is one of those foods that you either love or hate. I guess I’m the exception to the rule who happens to be neutral about it. In any case, the aroma of this drink is nice, but the flavor itself is just plain odd. I suppose that the cilantro works with the gin well enough. I think the bottom line is that if you like cilantro, you’ll like this. If you don’t, then you already know that you should stay away.

If you want to enjoy this confusing concoction, start by muddling the gin, three cilantro sprigs, and one lime wedge in the bottom of a cocktail shaker. Shake it some without ice, and then strain it over ice into your glass. Fill with tonic water, stir gently, and garnish with a cilantro sprig and lime wedge.

 

Grandma’s Salty Dog
-2 oz Gin
-Grapefruit Juice
-Tonic Water
-Salt

Grandma's Salty Dog

I guess it’s a stereotype that old ladies drink gin. I don’t think my grandmothers did. In fact, now that I think about it, I don’t think I ever saw any of my grandparents drink liquor. Not once. But I did see them drink — it was wine, mostly, as one might expect. And if we’re talking about my grandmother, with one of them I think about her drinking not gin, but single-serving size bottles of white zinfandel. The really cheap kind. That she also kept next to her bed. As my fiction writing teacher in college would say, that’s a telling and specific detail.

My grandmother drinking those small bottles of white zin is one of my favorite memories of her, and I’m sure that if you remember your grandmother drinking gin (especially if it happens to be straight from single-serving size bottles), it is one of your favorite memories of her. In that vein, I hope this cocktail does her justice, because it’s definitely kind of old-persony. I mean, gin and grapefruit juice. Is there anything more octogenarian than that?

This cocktail is also a combination of two other cocktails: the Salty Dog (which is traditionally made with vodka, not gin) and the Gin and Tonic. Just a nice little bit of information for you.

In any case, this is the first time I’ve tasted grapefruit juice and not hated it. As with a regular Salty Dog, the salt helps to cut the acidity. Or astringency. Or something. The salt makes it more bearable, okay? Don’t make me use fancy words. The flavors of the gin and tonic water also balnce the grapefruit juice out well, ultimately resulting in a very pleasant drink.

If you want to experience it, first use the grapefruit juice and salt to rim the glass. Then fill it with ice, add the gin, and then top with equal parts tonic water and equal parts grapefruit juice. Enjoy!

 

Denouement
What I’ve learned today is really that I shouldn’t spend so much time away from you guys. I’ll be back next week, and the week after that, and so on. I hope you all will be, too.


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

%d bloggers like this: